What Nobody Ever Tells You About AFTER Giving Birth

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When I had my first baby, there were MANY surprises, several of them unpleasant because I hadn't been warned. Asking someone what to expect, especially about myself and what I'd be going through after the birth was absolutely not on my radar. I had taken a childbirth class, read some books about birth and parenting, and was so focused on the baby and being sure I was ready for what I assumed she would need, I didn't even wonder what postpartum healing would look like for me.

Here are 11 things I wish I'd been told about so when they happened I could've thought, 'Oh, yeah! Ok, this is normal and it won't last long.' As it was, many of these things happened all at once or within a few days of each other, so I was kind of freaked out my first time around.

This list is not all-inclusive, and NOT meant to scare you. Remember, knowledge is power. And take comfort, many of them don't take too long to resolve themselves.

In early postpartum (the time after the birth), you may experience:


  • Shaking
    • Sometimes after birth, you shake uncontrollably for a while. The body has a lot of adrenaline coursing through it when it is time to push, and those hormones plus the shock of it all causes the body to shake for some people. The lack of control may be scary or frustrating. With at least two of my babies I remember a lot of shaking shortly after birth. It seemed to go on for at least an hour or two. 
      • What can help: A warm blanket, an attentive caregiver (spouse, doula), and being allowed to hold and bond with your baby.

  • Hemorrhage
    • When you give birth, liquid comes out, including blood. When that blood is more than normal, it may be that you are hemorrhaging. The staff may push on your abdomen, which can be very uncomfortable. Your care provider may need to give you medication to stop the bleeding, and one side affect can be the shaking that I just wrote about. If too much blood is lost, you'll need a blood transfusion. 

  • Lochia
    • After birth you'll continue to lose blood (when your placenta detaches and leaves your body, it leaves a very large internal wound in your uterus that needs to heal) and you'll have a very heavy period-like experience, except it will last a lot longer. During the first day postpartum, your care provider or staff will likely come in once in a while and check how heavy your bleeding is and change out the big pad you'll be lying on. It's normal for some clots to pass too over the next several days (getting smaller and smaller), but watch for anything bigger than a baseball or a fist. Mamas who had a vaginal birth AND mamas who had a C-section all experience this. 
    • Enjoy my little infographic about this: 🤗

  • Vaginal tears and stitches/C-section scar healing
    • Whether you tear during birth or not, you will most likely be very tender in your vagina, vulva, and labia. You may find it uncomfortable to sit, so lie down as much as possible, and consider getting a donut-pillow or something like that to sit on. (updated 14 Oct, 2024)
    • During birth, you may have received an episiotomy from your OB or Midwife, or you may have torn. There are different degrees of tearing. This is an excellent resource to learn about avoiding tearing. (updated 14 Oct, 2024)
    • You don't have to do anything to vaginal stitches if you have them, they'll dissolve on their own in time. But they may be uncomfortable. You'll be shown by your care provider or staff how to properly clean yourself after using the bathroom with a peri-bottle and you'll be given really big pads and disposable underwear (or adult diapers work even better). This all makes going to the bathroom take a LOT longer than you're used to doing.
    • I honestly can't tell you what to expect with C-section healing because I haven't experienced that myself (I need to do research on this!), but it would be wise to ask a friend or family member what their recovery was like so you can know if you end up having a C-section yourself.

  • Uterine shrinkage
    • Did you think your contractions were done? I'm sorry to tell you that they won't be. 😫 Your amazing uterus has stretched and grown so much over pregnancy, and it needs to get back down to it's pre-pregnant size, which is about the size of a pear. So as uncomfortable and sometimes agonizing this process (known as afterpains) can be, it is all by design and part of the healing process. Expect it to happen, especially when you're breastfeeding (because the hormone oxytocin is released during breastfeeding and that's what causes the contractions). The good news? It only happens for a few days.
      • What can help: heat (finally you can use that on your abdomen!), chocolate, pineapple, pain medication, herbal tincture called "Afterease". 

  • Milk coming in
    • This is a "pins and needles" feeling in your breasts and sometimes all the way up to your neck and in your shoulders area too. I find it pretty uncomfortable. It lasts for a minute or two when your milk is "coming in", indicating to you that you should feed that baby soon. This can happen a few times a day and can last for several months (Note: I'm in postpartum now with baby #5 and I'm still dealing with this sensation when the milk comes in. 5 months in, and I don't deal with it every day, but often enough that I'm surprised. I expect I may continue until I stop breastfeeding. How did I forget that?!)

  • Engorgement
    • When your breasts are overly-full of milk and are hard and swollen until they can get relief, it is called engorgement. When establishing breastfeeding, it is normal for you to get engorged sometimes. Your body eventually learns to make as much milk as was necessary the day before. This is super important to be aware of, because even if you don't choose to breastfeed, you'll probably experience this at first until your body gets the message to not make any milk.
      • What can help: warm showers, cabbage leaves, expressing milk through pumping or hand expression

  • Body scent
    • Your own natural scent may change, due to hormones helping baby identify you as their food and comfort source. I thought I smelled weird. 🤪

  • Hair loss
    • Expect this to start around 3 months postpartum. This is normal, and due to hormonal changes. For me, it can be emotionally discouraging, even if it's subconscious, when my hair is falling out. 

  • Pelvic Floor weakness
    • This is why when you laugh, cough, sneeze, jog, or jump you may pee yourself a little. It can also cause uncomfortable and painful intercourse. Many women suffer (pain, embarrassment, a loss of dignity) for years, sometimes the rest of their lives, because they don't know there is a solution or don't choose to get help. I am now seeing a pelvic floor therapist and am VERY happy with the progress I'm already seeing as my body gets stronger.

  • General Soreness
    • You just carried and had a baby, which is a Mt Everest-type experience in terms of significance. Be gentle with yourself!
      • What can help: stay in your PJs for at least a week or more so you expect less of yourself. Walk slowly, don't lift, just take it easy. Experts suggest 5 days in bed, then 5 days on the bed and 5 days around the bed. Meaning: rest a lot and slow way down. You will never regret taking it slow and gentle and bonding with your baby and yourself those first few weeks! You may regret rushing the healing process.

I know that's a lot! ❤ Don't be scared. ❤  It's all worth it. I want you to be empowered and understand that even though it's going to be hard, MOMS ARE RESILIENT and you will get through this, especially with enough support. You just take it a day at a time, sometimes even just a minute at a time. One day you'll look back with wonder at all you overcame.

I hope this post was informative to you, and that you'll prepare yourself and your friends for what is to come postpartum. Not out of fear, but out of love for you, your baby, and your future self.

This post may help you see why a postpartum doula is such a great resource. When you're going through all of this physical healing, it is great if you have already delegated some of the work and responsibilities to someone else. (updated 14 Oct, 2024)

My mindset with my most recent postpartum experience, especially in the first fifteen days after the birth was, "What if my only job was to heal and bond with my baby?" and it was magical. (updated 14 Oct, 2024)


[This is the first post of a series exploring many different ways of healing and adjusting during the 4th trimester such as: Physical, Emotional, Mental, Sexual, Social, and Spiritual.]

Until next week!

❤



Do you like this content? Then you may like my free guide, "3 lies that keep you stuck in Mom Guilt".