As I drove to the birth center earlier tonight to teach my first in-person postpartum education class, I was jittery with emotion.
"What if nobody comes?" said Discouragement.
"What if everybody comes?" panicked Overwhelm.
"What if they can tell you don't know what you're talking about?" sneered Self-Judgment.
"What if you're flustered?" suggested Fear.
And then I welcomed one of my favorite emotions, Confidence, who I was quickly charmed into forgiving as she sauntered in, late to the party.
"Why would you be good at it when you've never done it before?"
We high fived.
The rest of the drive I drowned out all the unhelpful and repetitive thoughts (especially that darn Discouragement) by just chanting/ sorta singing over and over, "Be willing to be bad at it. Be willing to be bad at it."
And then I thought about what I was even doing. Teaching pregnant moms, ideally first-time pregnant moms what to expect after birth and as they learned how to become a mom. And I couldn't believe I had almost forgotten one of the most important things I needed to tell them.
"Be willing to be bad at it."
New mama, you're going to want to do everything right. It's just the nature of it. There is SO MUCH PRESSURE to do it right in your new job, as the: caretaker, teacher, coach, chef, waitress, therapist, nurse, chauffeur, entertainer, organizer, etc etc (aka mom) of this new little person.
But I plead with you. Just remember. Why would you be good at it when you've never done it before?
Your capacity will grow. You will become accustomed to things. One day all of the things that feel so new and scary and hard will be much more doable.
Until you get there, be very gentle with her (yourself).
She's discouraged. Overwhelmed. Afraid. Judging herself. She needs your assurance that she's safe to make mistakes as she navigates this new mama thing.
My class went well. I was very nervous at times. But I know I helped people. Just as you will every single day as a mom. Even when your baby doesn't thank you, even when you feel invisible, even when you don't think you know what you're doing, even if you're afraid you're doing it wrong. You're showing up. And that makes ALL the difference in the world.
Do you want to learn about postpartum in a fun, interactive, and interesting way? Hop on the waitlist for my next postpartum education class! There will be in-person (Utah Valley) and Online options- if you're interested simply email me at holdthemom@gmail.com, tell me which type of class you prefer, and I'll put you on the list!