1. You. Your love.
After carrying that baby and birthing that baby, this is natural. It is by design that pregnancy and birth are so taxing and can be so uncomfortable and painful. You feel such relief, joy, and love when that baby is finally born! And if you have a hard time feeling love or bonding, know that can be common as well. Don't even think for a moment this makes you a bad mom. Don't worry, I believe the bonding and love will come in time, especially if you have the support you need during your postpartum time and can process your pregnancy, birth, and where you are at now.
2. You. Your warmth.
You don't need the fanciest clothes for you or your baby. Spend a lot of time skin to skin with that baby when they're new, and both of you can experience beautiful bonding. This releases hormones that are great for both of you.
3. You. Your milk.
Isn't it incredible that your body can feed that amazing little body you just created and nurtured inside of you? And it's free! A shoutout to all the moms who do this despite pain and overwhelm as you and your baby are learning the ropes. And if you for whatever reason can't or choose not to breastfeed, know that you are doing a great job making sure that baby is fed, whether it is someone else's milk or formula. Fed is best. You are doing great.
4. You. Your comfort.
Is it your beautifully sung lullaby from your great-grandmother passed down? Is it your tone-deaf rendition of the latest Taylor Swift song? Is it shushing sounds, bouncing on the knee, or rocking back and forth? It doesn't matter. It's what your baby wants. Because it's from you.
5. You. Your intuition.
Even if you are a first-time mom and think you don't know what you're doing, go with your gut. Lean into what feels right. Take what you want and leave what you don't from all that advice coming at you.
6. You. Your consistency.
When you show up day and night even though you're tired, or overwhelmed, or touched out. Your baby loves and needs this. Thank you for showing up day after day, night after night for your baby.
7. You. Your care.
You do so much for them. Diaper changes, bathing, feeding, holding, loving them all day. Lugging around the car-seat. Packing the diaper bag. Doctor appointments. Changing your schedule to accommodate them. Cleaning up spit-up, blow-outs, etc. So much laundry. Keeping them safe, alive, and well. Many of these things feel demeaning or monotonous. But don't underestimate the power of this. And the sacred work of all of it.
8. You. Your parenting style.
There are a million ways to be a great mom. Lean into what feels good to you. Don't stress about doing it "right". Just do it your way. That is what your baby needs and wants. I firmly believe that specific baby is yours to raise for a reason.
Surprised I didn't share all the baby gadgets and accessories and products that are "essential"? There are enough articles to tell you all about those. I think that when it really comes down to it, what your baby really needs, is you! And this is such good news. A new baby doesn't care if they have a trendy nursery or what brand the baby carrier is. They really just want you. And they have you. Hopefully this can take the pressure off of getting all the "right" things, or doing this mothering thing the "right" way. Mom guilt can start way too soon. But it's totally unnecessary. You are a good mom, where you're at, the way you're doing it, right now.
You are their everything.
Note: I understand that this post may be difficult to those moms who for whatever reason make the sobering decision to give their baby up for adoption. I just want to you remind you, if that is you, that as long as you feel deep down that that is the right decision in your situation, you are giving that baby exactly what he or she needs. A chance at a better life. May you find comfort and peace and may you someday be reunited with your baby and be able to have a relationship if that is what you both want and choose. (Have you ever seen the show Relative Race? Like that. :) )