It is 12:33 am and I am finally writing my blog post, and the topic is sleep.
The irony of that is not lost on me.
I've been up this late because I didn't get to seriously working until my kids went to bed, and I was enjoying a hyper-focused session on a free guide for pregnant and postpartum moms, "Six Strategies for More Sleep (after baby comes)".
Because that's what new parents crave the most, isn't it?
What I found interesting in my research, compiling, and writing, was how hard it was for me to communicate my thoughts in one of my strategies: Co-sleeping.
I agonized a bit.
Because co-sleeping is such a touchy subject.
You mention you're considering it and your friend is quick to tell you she knows someone who knew someone who smothered their baby on accident.
Before you leave the hospital with your brand-new bundle of joy, the nurses warn you of the dangers.
And I can't write a social media post asking moms if they think it's dangerous or not without several nurses chiming in about the horrors they've seen in the ER due to bed sharing with the baby.
If you can tell this all rubs me the wrong way, it's because there's two things that I strongly dislike:
misinformation
and decisions made from a place of fear.
I actually feel angry when I think about all the new moms whose mental health and well-being are deprioritized because of the supposed risks associated with safe co-sleeping.
(See these two resources to see what I mean! La Leche League's Safe Sleep Seven and this NPR article which defines what "safe" means and shows the research.)
I was one of those moms once. Getting up out of bed several times a night, nursing the baby in a chair or on a couch, only to accidentally fall asleep (which is much more dangerous than nursing them in my bed would've been).
Many mothers eventually "give in" and share their beds with their babies just to try to get more sleep. But then their minds are spinning with worry and guilt, making sleep still difficult for them.
With my most recent baby, I had the courage to try a lot of things I wanted to try. One of those was co-sleeping. I intentionally did it from day 2, and enjoyed it until my baby was about 6 months old. At that point it felt right to transition her to a crib.
I got the best sleep I've EVER gotten postpartum (and she's baby #5). It was amazing to be awakened by her several times a night, but just be able to breastfeed and snooze. And I felt so close with her. That oxytocin (the love hormone) is real, my friends.
So I hope this post helps a mom who has been snuggling her baby in her bed in secret, and has been feeling paranoid and scared.
I hope it helps a mom who wants a solution for better sleep.
I hope it helps reduce the guilt, normalize what is done in many parts of the world already, and improve someone's mental health.
I hope it helps someone avoid postpartum depression.
And let me just leave you with this rhetorical question:
When a mom breastfeeds her baby in her own bed, who makes a profit?
If you want a copy of my free guide, "Six Strategies for More Sleep" just send me an email at holdthemom@gmail.com. It'll be finalized soon!