I love living in a place with four very distinct seasons. I always feel excited when it seems warm enough outside to go without a jacket in the spring. With the blossoms come itchy eyes and sneezing, but when I can get past that, spring is a time of new beginnings and hope. The summer is so fun and carefree-- driving around a little too fast with the windows down and belting out "Wicked" with my kids. And somehow every year we have to relearn the importance of sunscreen. Fall is probably my favorite. I love the variety as the leaves begin to change, the crisp deeper blue skies, the holidays and pumpkin-cinnamon smells. And winter? At times I'm tempted to hate winter because it feels so darn inconvenient to have to shovel and scrape windows and remember mittens and all those things that force us to slow down a little. But I love being cozy and warm with people I love as we see the fresh snowfall outside.
It turns out, pregnancy and postpartum are seasons too! Once I started seeing the similarities I couldn't un-see it.
🌸 First Trimester: Spring 🌸
Even more meaningful than noticing the first green sprouting after a long winter, is the moment a woman realizes she's pregnant. There can be mixed feelings- confusion, disbelief, fear, excitement, hope, joy. But for a while it can be her little secret. Spring is a time of new beginnings and new life, which is exactly what is happening inside a mom during her spring. Like the wind whipping around a kite, your body can feel all over the place-- dizzy, nauseous, off-balance. Or like someone with spring allergies, they can appreciate the beauty of it but still be really uncomfortable until summer comes. Spring can be hard for a mom if she feels isolated- like she isn't supposed to tell people yet why she's so sick or not doing well.
Don't worry about keeping it all to yourself if you don't WANT to. If you were to miscarry, you'd want support and love- so tell those you are closest to and they can help you no matter what. Listen to your body, rest, and don't push yourself too hard. Be patient with your mind and body as you adjust to the reality that you're pregnant-- it's a really big deal!
☀️ Second Trimester: Summer ☀️
Summer can be carefree, and fun, and as far as pregnancy is concerned, it's the most comfortable for many of us. Though not for all moms, for many the nausea and anxiety about the risk of miscarriage has calmed down. Summer is when you're regularly feeling your baby move inside of you and the excitement and reality of becoming a mom is setting in. Your bump is obvious and adorable, and you may feel vibrant and beautiful.
If you're in your second trimester and you DON'T relate to feeling better, just think about summer. Sweaty days, sunburns, bored kids out of school-- not everything about it is dreamy.
If you're feeling good, live in the present, savoring and enjoying every day. Take a babymoon (even a simple, local one!) if you want to. And if you find yourself feeling bored, or simply want to be intentional about the upcoming months, take an online breastfeeding and/or postpartum education class, and find your birth and postpartum doula. Doing this is like doing your future-self a favor, trust me!
Photo by Nicholas Brownlow on Unsplash
🍂 Third Trimester: Fall 🍂
Fall can be a busy time: school starting, feast preparing, harvesting. In pregnancy, your body is working SO hard just to do normal things like walking and moving around in your daily life. Gradually, most women start to feel so uncomfortable, whether it's tossing and turning while you're trying to sleep, having to pee every five minutes, intense rib pain, or so many other symptoms. Your body is pushed to the max. Though this is anything but fun, it does help with the mental preparation for birth and postpartum. We know it'll be hard, but we welcome it if we can just get this baby out- and of course there's the thrill of holding that baby in our arms and finally seeing this sweet addition that is motivating too!
With each of my kids my "Fall" has been the most challenging. Days feel like weeks or months, and it's frustrating to feel so slow, big, and uncomfortable. But with this past pregnancy, I had an important change of perspective. I was due near the beginning of April and knew the midwives wouldn't let me go past 43 weeks. So on April 1st I realized, "It's April, and I'll hold my baby in April!" I just trusted the baby would come when she was ready, and enjoyed the things that are unique to the third trimester. I'm so glad I slowed down and just allowed it all. The impatience (and discouragement from going over my due date) robbed my joy in the past, but this time I really leaned in.
With all the seasons, I think the most important thing is to lean into your instincts. You may notice a desire to clean and organize during the third trimester. This is "nesting" and means the baby will come soon. Do it, but don't overdo it, and don't worry about everything in your home and life being perfect before the baby is born. More important than an instagram-worthy nursery is a supported and safe mom.
So, that's it. I hope you enjoyed this post about the seasons that relate to each part of pregnancy...
Wait a second. I'm forgetting one, aren't I?
And it seems everyone forgets about this one- but if you're not prepared for Winter, you'll have such a hard time!
❄️ Fourth Trimester: Winter ❄️
Postpartum does not mean depression, which only some women go through. Postpartum is a stage that all women go through after birth. Pretending it doesn't exist will not do you any favors.
I want you to imagine yourself with only the clothing and supplies you would have during Spring, Summer, and Fall. If you had to leave the house without coats, mittens, hats, boots, shovels, car scrapers, blankets... you and your baby would be absolutely miserable as you tried to get through the snow and ice.
Winter has such beauty to it. Such calm and stillness as snowflakes come down. It can be so cozy to snuggle up inside with a candle and hot chocolate, staying warm and enjoying loved ones.
When it comes to postpartum, I want you to imagine yourself snuggling with that baby as much as possible. Think of yourself hibernating-sleeping day or night, whenever you need. And gradually, as you do start to do more than heal and bond with your baby (your main priorities), you have the tools (the shovel, the car scraper, the winter gear) to navigate with confidence and safety.
So what does this even look like, especially when we just hear of other moms having their babies, breastfeeding, and bouncing back? How can we prepare for and really savor the beautiful coziness that is just unique to winter?
One easy way is to take this affordable online mini-course I recently created, "The After Baby Reset." So many moms either didn't prepare for postpartum or feel totally overwhelmed pretty soon after the baby is born. They don't know they can ask for help and don't know how. They just want to feel better, and it seems like a really rough and scary (even seemingly endless) road through postpartum ahead. That's why I created this mini-course, so you can learn some tools to start to feel better in your body, your mind, and in your relationships.
Another way to prepare for and thrive in winter? A postpartum doula. She will support you so you can rest and get what you need done. I have never met a woman who regretted investing in her and her family's wellbeing in this way. I'm a certified postpartum doula who serves Utah Valley. You can find my information here. And if you don't live in Utah or are looking for someone else, check out this website to find a great postpartum doula in your area!
I pray for you, even those I don't know who may be reading this, that you will find the resources you need to have a vibrant and supported pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and motherhood. You are so brave to be going through all the seasons- so selfless doing this as you create life and bring another person (or people) into this world. Well done, I applaud you and think you're just amazing. I'm here for you if you want my support along the way.
Seriously check out the After Baby Reset! You'll be glad you did! I guarantee you'll learn something new that will help you be more prepared and supported for this, the most important transition of your life as you become a mother for the first time, or again!
See you on the blog next week! xoxox
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