How to Know You’re Really Ready for Labor (the Checklist No One Gives You)

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How will you know when it's time? Labor and Birth are beautiful and somewhat mysterious. In today's world with instant gratification, it can be really hard to play the waiting game. You may be having Braxton Hicks Contractions for weeks, months even. Or you may have your first contraction and wonder, 'is this it?'



Here are some things you can do to have the peace of mind that you are ready when labor begins (and don't worry, you'll know.
  • Educate Yourself
    • Many couples choose to take a childbirth class as a helpful preparation for birth. Not only is it fascinating, but it can be empowering to understand the process of contractions, opening, and baby being pushed out into the world. My favorite childbirth class: Your Empowered Hospital Birth (though the class tells you everything you need to know if you choose a home or birth center birth as well!)
      • Keep in mind: not all births are "textbook"! They tell you to wait until contractions are 5 minutes apart and getting more intense and closer together before getting to the hospital. If I had done that with this last baby, I would've delivered in the car. Contractions were often 10 minutes apart, even at the very end.
  • Birth Team
    • Have you thought about and invited who you want to be there? Don't have your mom or mother-in-law come just because they want to. Don't forget a birth photographer or videographer if you want it documented. Or a trusted friend can do that for you too! I wish I had known with my first birth that the muscles to push a baby out are the same used to poop. It is a very vulnerable experience, and often modesty is forgotten about. Consider who you'd feel comfortable doing that in front of-- you want to be able to focus on the important things like moving through labor and your well-being, not how comfortable others around you are.
  • Location
    • Hospital? Birth Center? Home? Car? It would be good to be mentally prepared for a transfer to the hospital if you're having an out-of-hospital birth. Be sure you have a doula or somebody you trust who can help you feel safe if things go unexpectedly. And a quick word about transfers-- when I interviewed several amazing midwives with my last pregnancy, they all said a similar thing-- their transfer rates (from a home or birth center birth to a hospital) are almost exclusively moms who wanted to go unmedicated but eventually decided they wanted an epidural. Very rarely an actual emergency.
  • Decision on how late you'll go
    • If you've already decided with your care provider that you won't go later than 40 weeks, or 41, 42, or 43 (I haven't met any that would let you go 44), then it helps a little with the induction decision. It can still be an annoying waiting game, because for about a month you wonder, 'should I cancel plans? Is today the day?' but that decision, especially if you'd rather avoid induction, will help you stay mentally strong and avoid asking for it.
  • Labor symptoms
    • A few examples that would make you want to call and inform your healthcare provider (OB or Midwife)
      • when you lose the mucus plug (you'll pass this like you would vaginal discharge-- it's thicker and often tinged with a bit of blood)
      • Contractions feeling more intense than you're used to and continuing despite your physical activity
      • Water breaking
        • Several pregnancies I thought my water broke, but truly I had just peed 😆. If this happens to you and you get it checked out only to be sent home, don't be embarrassed or discouraged. You have so much weight on those pelvic floor muscles, and unless you've been doing pelvic floor physical therapy, it can be very common to pee accidentally near the end of pregnancy.
  • Other things to consider
    • Birth Plan (or simply birth words like: peaceful, beautiful, safe, supported, vibrant, etc)
    • Hospital Bag
    • Replace Fear with Faith
    • Surrender
      • For me, this was a spiritual moment where I turned to God and put it all in His hands. And that was when labor finally really began. Not sure this can be rushed, but I think there's something important in being willing to surrender to His will for you.

And now, a bonus: How to Know You're Really Ready for Postpartum

  • Educate Yourself
    • You're going to want to know some basics about breastfeeding, baby blues, and signs to look for with postpartum depression, anxiety or other disorders that can happen if you're unsupported. 
      • I have a mini-course called the After Baby Reset that goes over these and helps you know what's coming!  If you're curious reach out to me on instagram (@douladiane) or you can email at holdthemom@gmail.com.
  • Postpartum Team
    • Your job after birth will be to heal and bond with the baby. Everything else can and ought to be delegated if possible. This can take some intentionality- I recommend you write a long list of people you'd be willing to ask for help and start asking or at least saying YES when they offer.
Photo by Elle Cartier on Unsplash

    • You can also change your expectations for the few months after birth. Let your house get messy, let the dishes pile up. If you follow the 5-5-5 rule I recommend
      • First 5 days in bed (Snuggling baby a ton to get all that good oxytocin and learn how to breastfeed)
      • Next 5 days on the bed (You can do a bit more but seriously rest still- your body has gone through a really intense experience and you'll be bleeding heavily --vaginal bleeding called lochia)
      • And the next 5 days around the bed (stretch a bit, maybe some yoga, journaling, visiting with welcomed guests that help you feel safe, still so much snuggle time with baby)
    • Following that 5-5-5 recommendation will help you avoid doing chores or running errands or getting stressed out with other arguing kids or all the things that can just WAIT. You are cocooning, love.
  • Sleep
    • Check out my free guide to the best sleep you'll get postpartum! 
    • I go into it in the guide, but conversations with your spouse or helpers BEFORE the baby even comes will be really helpful. They say resentment just comes from having unmet needs. You can have a plan like my husband and I had, where when we (usually I) heard the baby in the night, I'd wake him, he'd get her, change her, and give her to me to be fed. Then when I was done breastfeeding her, he'd burp her and put her back to bed. Breastfeeding is a full-time 24/7 job, so it helped a lot that he would do that. OR you can do what I finally tried with my 5th baby and loved so much I'd never go back-- strategy #5! There is so much misinformation about it, but the truth could mean so much more sleep for you, your baby, and bonding for you both.
  • Mama's needs
    • Mama needs everything baby needs, and more. Not only will you need warmth, safety, cleanliness (yes, you're allowed to shower every day, even if baby cries in her crib for a bit), sleep, and good nutrition, but you'll need emotional support. You'll need assurance. You'll need lovely people in your corner to encourage and support you.
    • I'm a postpartum doula and coach. Taking care of the mom is my bread and butter so to speak. If you'd like to have  a free consult to see if we'd be a good fit for my in-person and/or virtual options, just click here and write "postpartum consult" in the description box.

I think you're amazing, mama. Thank you for your efforts and for taking care of that baby growing inside so well. Thank you for your sacrifices. They are sacred.

Love you so much. See you on the blog next week!

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